That question transports me to a year ago when I was entrenched in an internship. Because People Matter. This non-profit is dedicated to supporting the most vulnerable in the Portland community, particularly the houseless – and I was dedicated to aiding in acquiring the funds to make that happen. Though a part of this program was a leadership program in which careful attention was directed towards the development of the individual and their path. As a part of this training, we articulated values, beliefs, and even a mission statement to guide us. One such lesson from this training was centered on this question: Why do you suck air?
Shifting back into focus today, I find myself a bit stumped. I left my hometown with the idea of meeting people, discovering places, and using these novel experiences to aid in finding 
purpose. Everything has shifted unexpectedly for everyone. Though I have addressed this previously, things continue to progress in even more uncertain ways.
Here in Ireland, we are engaged in a subtle return to normalcy. We can again sit in a restaurant or pub and enjoy a chilled pint in a glass, be served at a table. We can again have our hair trimmed at a barber or get a piercing or tattoo. We can again have people over at our houses, in groups of up to 50 indoors and 200 outdoors. It appears as if things have returned for the most part. The ability to meet up with friends in the park and then have them over for more cans feels like a step in the right direction. Though each of these activities brings with it a risk, and an undetermined impact of prior decisions.
The only constant is one of utter uncertainty. Perhaps this new reality is ultimately clearly illustrating what was painfully obvious all along. That our lives and circumstances are in constant flux. That the only source of comfort is through the discomfort. That though we make decisions and choices which guide and define us, much of our reality is undetermined and outside of our control.
Sensations of nostalgia wave over me as well, while leaning into a comforting discomfort. I yearn for the light brown walls of the house I lived in Portland, the warmth that permeated through the walls with a chosen family of friends. I taste the decadent hashes, benedicts, and pancakes from the quirky brunch restaurant I was a host at. More recently, I miss the 
chaotic nature of a bustling busy bright Bewleys. Shifting in and out of view have strangers turned coworkers turned friends. This building held hundreds of people, a constant buzz and bustle ever unfolding. The many shifts that ended with a pint surrounded by mates sitting in Bruxelles next door, the night young and spontaneous.
Though at the same time, I feel content. I now live on a busy street in a bustling, quaint neighborhood of Dublin. I can even peer onto the street below, engrossed in an ever-continuing narrative below me. In just over three months I will be taking classes at Dublin City University in the pursuit of a vocation in Journalism. I believe I am living out my dreams. Living where I want to live, pursuing what I want to pursue. As much as possible, interacting with people. Learning, growing. I am excited and hopeful about the future and intend to soak up as much of my present as possible.
Last year, my articulation of why I suck air was related to learning, exploring, and leaving a positive impact. I intend to pursue these things in an authentic, creative, and brave way. This pursuit is an ever-constant way of living, constantly evolving. It is also about the choices we make, and where those choices lead us. If we choose to engage with life through a lens that asks intentionality, perhaps then the choices we make may indeed be more intentional as well.
